Book Club Log #4
Spent most of my therapy session today moping about how much I hate talking and whatever but it turned out ok.
Wondered if I could catch the later train but I forgot it takes 8 mins to walk from the station to the bookstore so I was kind of late. I had planned to try to sit next to someone new this time but in my desperation I just ended up sitting next to whoever seemed safe aka two people I had sat next to before. One of them is good at talking and her demeanor is pretty chill so.
I didn't actually think I was going to say anything about this book: Greater than the Sum of Our Parts: Feminism, Inter/Nationalism, and Palestine, but no one was really saying what I thought so I ended up speaking. And then speaking again because someone else who was new was also Taiwanese and lamented about how they can't speak the language so I had a big "wtf same" feeling I had to just get out.
Teacher lady did not read this book because she couldn't focus enough without an audio book so the discussion kinda got wonky? Social butterfly and Old Ex-military guy somehow got into like a 10 min discussion about ontology/etymology which I was initially interested in but I could feel the social temperature dropping a bit so it got uncomfortable (Social Butterfly was more aware of this than Old Guy so I think they felt a bit bad for it). Midway I started worrying about one of the peeps since she looked kind of done with this but I think she was ok later. Multiple people had to kindly tell Old ex-Military Guy that saying he's indigenous to the military because that's his history of being a GI Brat isn't in good taste. (He is very critical about the military but I guess old white man habits of talking a lot die hard.)
Oh yeah, I also ended up speaking up another time because one of the books we were debating reading was Pleasure Activism and I was 😱😱😱 because I kind of hate that book as an Asexual so I ended up outing myself to be liek Pls Let's Read Her Other Book Instead (if we must). But in the end that didn't get picked sooo I guess we're reading a Judith Butler book the month after next (haven't read anything from them since college so this will be interesting).
Afterwards in the socializing part I wanted to talk to Taiwanese person but I didn't. I'm sensing a trend where I don't talk to the people I intend to talk to. Instead when socializing time started I asked the safe person about a message she had dropped in the group chat earlier today and so she started talking about it and naturally drew the attention of 3 other people: French person, Multiple-names Guy, and Person I need to thank for directing me to an org to do basic remote volunteering with but I still haven't. (Also learned that person is Peruvian & Quechua today.) That was fine for a while and then Peruvian person went to go talk to other people who I would like to talk to more someday.
I don't know what to say to French person but I feel like I should engage her in convo sometime because she has been there every session I have and I've ended up in a small group with her twice now.
When I went to put away my chair Bookstore Employee started talking to me. I have learned they like green a lot so I mentioned I really like blue. (I didn't say I was like obsessed, though.) I asked them about the Queer meetup and we talked a bit about our siblings and stuff. At some point we ran out of topics to talk about I feel like but I tried. Also their sister (Teacher Lady) told me that she's also Asexual (& Aromantic) so congrats to me on not being alone. Though I might be the weirder one because I read a ton of romance comics (but have less tolerance for it in books) but it's okay, I haven't told anyone that. yet? Might talk to Peruvian person about it at some point because she said she likes reading romance (books primarily, I assume).
There was also someone new who was talking to Teacher Lady and I somehow ended up talking to her just very briefly (about our cats). And I got the Storygraph of New Person (who I need to think of a moniker of, maybe something based on their fashion idk) and Bookstore Employee. I hope this new person + the Taiwanese person show up next time? (There was also another third interesting person who is Tibetan + Indian, I think, seemed like a lot of different ethnicities, who I also hope comes again.)
Anyway...
- Talked during main discussion: Success
- Talked afterwards and did a whole 30 minutes+ of socializing: Success
Quests cleared. Until next time @_@ Hopefully as time goes by I will come up with random things to say to literally every person. There are still people I don't know the names of... and I need to think of something interesting to ask French person. I want to also talk to Taiwanese person if they show up again next time to get more of their history (they live in Australia... most of the time? Are they coming back next time?). I'm curious if we can share knowledge on Taiwan and share in our Taiwanese languishing. But also trying to keep my expectations low because who knows what they're like. Could be a person just person-ing in a way that I don't vibe with. Hopefully I'll get to find out someday.
Also I have not hung out with Multiple Names Guy and have also not really talked to him again even though I sent him a message with a YouTube video essay that was tangential to another one he sent in the group chat at some point. That's my pity send because I feel like I should be more friendly with him since it's not like I Don't Like Him or anything I just have no goddang clue what to talk about and I'm very bad without an obvious shared interest :(
I'm so bad at The Conversations....