Book Thoughts: The Sign for Home by Blair Fell
The premise of this one really seemed like it was going to be mid since, for some reason, marketing has evidently decided that the most compelling part of this book is the love story (it's not). Reading the blurb, it comes off entirely like a "boy chases girl he loves," which leaves you completely unprepared for the fact that this book is actually a book with two perspectives, one being his gay & depressed interpreter, Cyril.
Construction-wise, I thought this was a smart move because it allows Fell to use his interpreting knowledge and sidesteps the question of, "Wait, who is this book for β do DeafBlind people really need to write in English, or would they get more out of this if they just Protactile signed to each other?" This was a concern I had before I picked up this book, recalling "Against Access," by John Lee Clark:
The question I am asked most frequently by hearing and sighted people is βHow can I make my [website, gallery exhibit, film, performance, concert, whatever] accessible to you?β Companies, schools, nonprofits, and state and federal agencies approach me and other DeafBlind people all the time, demanding, βHow do we make it more accessible?β
Such a frenzy around access is suffocating. I want to tell them, Listen, I donβt care about your whatever. But the desperation on their breath holds me dumbfounded. The arrogance is astounding. Why is it always about them? Why is it about their including or not including us? Why is it never about us and whether or not we include them?
I now realize that this whole book was written in alignment with Clark, as Fell enthusiastically recommends reading his work in the acknowledgments.
I listened to the audiobook for this one, which was narrated by Fell himself. A lot of effort was definitely put into this as he did his best to emulate different accents, some more believable than others. It was clear which character was talking from the voice-acting.
There were some choices in the writing that I'm not completely sure how to interpret. For one thing, Cyril is given "I," but Arlo is given "you." I waited to see if Arlo would ever switch to "I," but this is not something that ever happened. I'm not quite sure what the intent was here. How it came off to me was to invite the sighted and/or hearing reader to imagine what it would be like to be Arlo, or it was a choice made by the fact the author is not DeafBlind and thus pretending to know how to translate what thoughts a DeafBlind character would be having into the structures of English, rather than tactile ASL or Protactile, would simply be folly.
Notably, the speech of the hearing characters in this story are all rendered in English with typical grammar through all modes of communication β speaking, writing, signing β but the Deaf characters retain an ASL-like grammar in all forms, with lack of tenses. It reads more similarly to AAC in the space of the written word. This refusal to "localize" in translation between English and ASL is definitely an intentional choice and runs counter to how I usually see signed languages handled in comics. Granted, my sample size is something like 2 and comes from Japanese media, so with a grain of salt: Usually when a character signs in the comics I have read, the translation is put directly next to them, with grammar abiding that of the language it was written in (Japanese; and by extension, English via translation from Japanese). My guess on this choice, as well as the occasional descriptions of important signs, is to purposefully remind the reader that access for deaf/blind people is not assimilation. It challenges sighted/hearing readers to step outside of their biases about English grammar's perceived correlation to competence, and to decenter English as the most important mode of communication.
This is all fine and dandy, but the foremost question I have is how deaf and/or blind people reacted to this choice. I would be curious to see what thoughts they have on it, but I also don't know how to go about finding those reviews. Regardless, the acknowledgments section indicates multiple test readers and consulting DeafBlind people, so that suggests a potentially positive feedback.
As for the story:
The characters in this story are pretty messy, and they do a lot of things that are technically wrong in the ethical guidelines of interpreting but are ethically right in terms of "helping someone in an abusive situation." This ethical muddling of being unable to both be friend and interpreter at the same time is the biggest through line on Cyril's part, and a struggle so great that he fails spectacularly.
Basically no character in this story (Cyril biggest offender) has an ability to rein in their anger, and every dubious change from plan is basically accompanied with one or more characters screaming at each other. I won't say this is OOC as the backgrounds for these characters pretty much explained that they're all terrible at emotional regulation, but in terms of personal taste, I couldn't help but think, "Can you people just shut up and think things through for once???" at multiple times in the book.
This type of story-telling beat reminds me of how I feel watching American TV dramas, many of which feature characters who continue to repeat their mistakes and make poorly thought-out decisions that get themselves into deeper shit, with any major character growth delayed until the end of the series with the resolution of dramatic situation number 52. While tiring to me, I know that this is actually appealing to many people as they find it more "real" than sitting down and having mature conversations, or getting little things right one step at a time. YMMV.
The pacing of the story events is otherwise satisfying with revealing a bit about the characters at a time and having a mystery surrounding Arlo's past that leads to what is essentially a jailbreak. One of the biggest reveals for him, though, is simply spoilered by the romance-focused blurb. Welp.
I also did enjoy the escalation at the end and the fact that it avoids wrapping up everything on a "Happily Ever After" note. Something this book does well is illuminate all the various ways ableism creates the grounds for abuse and point out where we need to do better. Indeed, Cyril wouldn't have to choose between friend vs. interpreter if we actually had equal access everywhere in a way that makes sense to each realm of experience β essentially all of the ethical conundrums Cyril is put into is basically from having to take on too many hats at once (friend, interpreter, advocate, worker), and he struggles with being told by Arlo that he's not supposed to be a "hero," because Arlo doesn't need heroes. Again, this book aligns itself with the "Against Access" essay by insisting to "ASL interpreters that they must share their opinions and assessments."
I don't know if any Jehovah's Witnesses are actually going to read this book, but it was actually nicer to them than I was expecting by implying that while Arlo's lot are abusive, there may be some good (less cultish) stragglers out there. Molly, who is thankfully redeemed even if she remains just as annoying, is likewise choosing to interpret her faith in a different way. Arlo's own spirituality seems more syncretic by the end.
As for the love story. While I enjoyed hearing about Arlo's experiences at the school for the deaf, I cannot say I cared much about this segment of the book at all. The emphasis on love & sex in Arlo's history, as well as being bullied by other deaf kids, helps break a bunch of the infantilizing myths about disabled people β that they can't love or be sexual, or that they're necessarily more innocent β but the fact that his romance with Shri started with her essentially stalking him was seriously weird, especially with the fact that Shri can see and he can't (well). It felt very much like a fantasy of, "What if, just this once, the person touching you against your will happened to be a super cute girl that loves you very much?" and I just don't care for it. Similarly, all the sex talk and the "Boys will be boys" vibe permeating through Arlo's friendship with his two roommates was also major PASS for me. But I can see why it would be included and why it might be useful or meaningful for people who are not me.
I also wondered whether Shri was really going to feel the same way as Arlo after 5.5 years, but granted that both of them were put into isolating, abusive situations, it's not like their feelings really had time or space to change. So it's a love story against all odds in the end in that respect, but cynically, I also feel like this was only possible because neither of them truly had the freedom to explore other options after Shri's accident.
Otherwise, my usual complaints remain: Most of the characters are white, I would've preferred to learn more about Shri, and reading from the male perspective is never my first choice. However, given that the author is white, it's the usual case of wanting something different than what the author can give. For what the author does give, it's a book worth reading in an area where there's a lack of representation. 4/5.