Comic Thoughts: You And I Are Polar Opposites by Koucha Agasawa
Has spoilers for the whole series.
I'm down bad. Literally crying about the first anime episode and also the development Taira has later in the series. There's just something so heartfelt about all of this and the whole sense that the characters are really one big friend group that eventually made Taira realize he belonged somewhere, only for that to have to come to an end because of graduation. It just hits so hard. Even though the first ep doesn't focus on Taira/Azuma at all, there's also just something so honest about the dialogue, and the theme of struggling with the gaze and expectations of other people extends to the main character Suzuki, who partially defaults to matching other people's pace even if it goes against what she really wants. Meanwhile, Tani is awkwardly following his own logic and doesn't read the room, but this is a variation of human behavior that is accepted and even celebrated. The idea of opposites attracting has always been compelling, but even more so when it cinches that feeling of having a certain special connection that just isn't present in other dynamics, specifically because of the difference in personality rather than relying on a difference of body.
Not to say that the roles the characters are given don't fit gender roles, because they do. But despite releasing in Shounen Jump+, this series manages to have basically 0 objectification of literally anyone the whole time. Even shoujo manga often does the tropes of paying attention to someone's body as a physical point of attraction, which often relies on exaggerating the difference in gender, such as "Boy's hands are so big..." and comments about boobs and whatnot. This sexual tension (even between high schoolers) is a usual component; older shoujo are filled with boys randomly touching girls' breasts as a joke and pinning them against walls.1
You And I Are Polar Opposites doesn't really do any of this, at least from what I can remember (I've only caught up by reading the last 15 chapters or so yesterday instead of doing a full back sweep through the series). Rather, the focus is on the characterization and seeing each other as people. Indeed, when Azuma realizes she likes Taira and looks for advice (while not letting on who she likes), she's literally told to think about whether she likes him as a person given how much work he seems to be. And her answer is yes. There's a situation where Nishi basically freezes up when Yamada tries to initiate making out, and when he asks if she wants to do this, her answer is "If that'll make you love me more." Naturally, because this series completely respects its female characters, he immediately pulls back and is like, okay, you don't have to earn my love or anything...?? The sexual tension that is taken as a granted for attraction in other romance manga as the driver of people's actions is not present here, even though we know the characters are capable of being sexual. This makes it a breath of fresh air that highlights the slow process of emotional connection without desexualizing its characters.2 Put in another writer's hands, I could easily see Taira's mental dialogues include comments about how sexy Azuma is to further indicate her as being outside of his league, but none of that ever happened. WOW! Sometimes there are series that make you think, "If men were actually this impervious to sexism, well, one, we wouldn't have sexism at all, but two, I would actually like men a lot more than I do."
The fun part also is that there are characters who aren't paired with anyone at all and who don't really see the point of dating. This counterbalance is very important and furthering that the most important relationships are not necessarily romantic. Taira and Azuma's relationship at the end is still strictly platonic despite Azuma's feelings for him, but this is seen as just a valid emotional bond as the other two pairings, which are obviously romantic. Whether or not Taira and Azuma get together in the future as adults is still a possibility — as is the possibility that they stay best friends to whom they can be completely vulnerable with through anything — but the fact that the two of them managed to see and accept each other with all of their flaws while encouraging positive growth remains true. And they both know it and are extremely grateful to the other person, as they are to their broad, warm, and silly friend group, which provided the base support for unlearning self-deserting behaviors.
It really is enough to make me cry.