Gave up, it's good enough
Gave up on something today!! Finally. I spent about 14 days or so on it, which is actually less than I thought but probably still too long for what this was. At least now I've learned a bit of Blender (but I haven't gone through the 4-hour donut tutorial, and I don't think I will for now. Next time I want to model something in Blender I'll warm up with that).
I think if anyone actually saw what I modeled they would 100% say that it was not worth 14 days of work, even if that work included learning a new program and hitting my head against the restrictions of Nomad Sculpt. My urge for smooth sides is just too much and I have to sit with the discomfort of angularity if it gets the job done. I'm not releasing this for anything so...
I have a really hard time gauging when to give something up, even when I know that I should. I have a hard time rating things in terms of importance sometimes?? I think it's because I just think of all the frustration future me will experience for not having This Thing that I hope is as close to perfect as possible, and I'm trying my best to prevent that. But it's like not worth it.
I guess for now I will try to limit myself to one week next time. I wish I were better at gauging time so that I could actually figure out how much time to spend on something, but what often happens is that my imagined time it will take needs to actually be multiplied by 4. It's also kind of funny because my internal idea of how I'm doing in a given week is actually like 4 days instead of 7, so I'm already thinking of time continuity as twice as fast as it actually is, and then sometime I also half that time again because I overestimate my capabilities. Ugh.
It's hard though because they also say that work (or any activity) expands to take up the time it's allotted, so you should set hard bookends on something. This makes more sense for me for something like writing or getting through a document or whatever, but when it comes to art, which is infinitely more nebulous because I can't envision the end product quite the same way, I feel disinclined to try this approach. I think, also, I just have a hard time sitting with having something that is Bad because I didn't problem-solve it hard enough. Especially if it's art. But you're also supposed to fail faster. Does failing faster include giving up and living with ugly art? Eeeugh....
Well...................................................... I guess I could try as an experiment.................... containing art stuff into a certain amount of time........ now the question is, is the time I calculate supposed to be the amount of time I think it'll take, or multiplied by 4 number??
And how do I know this is a good idea for me and not just something that's going to ramp up my efficiency anxiety and give me another migraine down the road? I'm just coming off of one right now and I'm like... maybe I need to take it easier... this kind of planning almost feels like the exact opposite of doing that. But on the other hand I spent nearly 4 hours on Blender today and I think I could've spent less, so maybe I'm rescuing myself from microwaving my brain too much in the future? Assuming that any of this works.
