Went to a crafts meet-up
I am super fucking bad at talking to people, man. This was with my book club peeps ish and there were some new people also from the place hosting. Part of me wonders why I even bother to show up when my ass is NOT talking!
I think my limit is like 7 people. Anything more than that and I just don't talk.
I brought the wrong supplies bc i thought it was for junk journaling again so I just did some attempt at drawing poses from Sakugabooru with a pen for two hours.
Other people who weren't me talked about many things. Cannot shake the feeling that other people have lives and I don't. Something learned from osmosis is that apparently fire fighting is so hazardous that after retirement the life expectancy for firefighters is like 10 years. Also our stuff now is much more flammable nowadays than stuff from more natural materials. Also the flame retardant stuff they spray is mostly useless and also carcinogenic but they do that to look like they're doing something to appease people panicking.
Guy with the alternate identity talked to me for a bit but I made the mistake of walking out too early. I guess the other people were gathering to discuss board games? But I don't like board games so :/
Anyway, I'm doin so bad at this bro. I hope showing up even though I don't speak for shit is more than nothing. Blah blah community building blah blah all of this is shrimply beyond my ass.
I'm already worried that not talking means I'm failing to be normal and/or socializing in general but I guess something is better than nothing. Doing it bad forever but doing... something. Meh and bleh and dare I say bleugeh